Faultlines

The consequences are evident

Tornadoes, earthquakes, volcanoes, tsunamis, hurricanes, floods

Each correlated to one or more of their psychological counterparts

Low self esteem, need for attention, social awkwardness, insignificance, not good enough

The need to feel wanted with the need to be alone

A sad oxymoron, the result of these conditions coexisting

I’d wish it away if I could

But something tells me when I get over them

It will be great! Epic even!

Lessons learnt, stories to tell, others to help

It gives me the jitterbugs…butterflies of excitement!

I haven’t gotten the formula just yet

My constant procrastination even extends to mental tasks

Even trips to God I delay #bruh

Just imagine the awakening that awaits

I long to feel less hurt and enjoy life more

Less overthinking, less reminiscing

More living in the present and anticipating the future

Less ‘What if’s’, ‘…should haves’, ‘…could haves’

More ‘I did it!’, #lookatGod #noregretting

I long to feel less burdened by the things I can’t control

And taking immediate action for that which I can

And Lord, I know, I should leave it all to you

But that’s a lot easier said than done honestly

And I want to, You know me better than even I do

But I do need lessons in trusting You thoroughly

Lessons on how to just leave You to do what only You can

Lessons on acknowledging that I cannot do it all on my own

Nor can I depend too much on mere humans like me to do it for me

A Faultline: a line on a rock’s surface, a fracture along which rocks have been displaced

The rock: me

A fault: a fracture in a rock’s formation, along where has been movement of the blocks of rock on either side

The fractures: my experiences

The sides: the physical and the mental

So essentially the narrow lines remain

From the faults now filled with grace and most importantly love

Lines: battles scars are all that remain

An illusion

Let’s me think I’m suffering when I really am not

The hurt is outside the door, I just don’t have to answer, nor let it in

Rather

I must fight to be free, via the power in me

Placed there by MY FATHER, ruler of everything.

C2B Sept. 2017

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6 Comments Add yours

  1. lacyngo says:

    You truly have a gift with words. Amazing

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you so much! Thanks for reading!

      Like

  2. ladycee says:

    Love your writing – powerful, expressive, moving.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Anonymous user says:

    Soul Searching, pretty deep. Keep on writing

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you for reading 😊 I couldn’t stop writing even if I wanted to loool

      Like

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